


Finite.

by Daiya_Darko



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Break Up, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-10
Updated: 2013-06-10
Packaged: 2017-12-14 12:43:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/836998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daiya_Darko/pseuds/Daiya_Darko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leonard is done.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finite.

When McCoy gets the message that Jim has been knocked unconcious and is bleeding profusely from multiple wounds, he removes his things from Jim's quarters before preparing a private bed in sickbay.

This is the last straw.

 He gets a stretcher and a few nurses to standby at the transporter room and coaches himself on what he's going to say. 

When Jim appears in Spock's arms on the pad, all words leave him except for one: "Jim!"

They rush Jim into sickbay, McCoy's heart loud in his ears as he barks orders. He fixes Jim again like he always does, but this is the last time he will be so invested. 

Jim wakes a few hours later, after being in an induced coma, and McCoyfeels a sick combination of relief and resentment. 

"Hey Bones," Jim smiles weakly, unaware of the eery calm on McCoy's face. 

"How are you feeling, captain?" McCoy asks in an unaffected tone.

That tips Jim off, and he frowns. "Bones..."

"I don't want to hear it!" McCoy snaps. "I told you I can't keep doing this. You expect me to care about you when you can't even be bothered to care about yourself or how I feel when I have to save you every other gotdamn week!"

"Bones, it's my job! You knew what you were getting into-"

"It's not your damn job!" McCoy suddenly shouts. "I have to file a report every time someone gets critically injured. That information is available to all senior medical staff and you know what I saw when I looked at the other ships? Their captains hardly get injured. Know why? Because they don't risk their necks and half the senior officers on board for an adrenaline rush!"

 Jim stares at him in shock and hurt, too tired and indignant to say anything. 

 Continuing, McCoy says, "You're irresponsible and I'm the one who has to clean up the messes you leave. What hurts the most is that you don't seem to notice or care what this is doing to me. It's not easy to operate on someone you love, which is why surgeons never do. You make me have nightmares that I'll screw up and cause irreversible damage. I don't want to ever have you die under my care, but you keep putting me in that position amd it's not fair." McCoy tries to fight back the tears he's been holding in since the first time he saw Jim dead on a biobed. A single, defiant tear slides down his cheek, and then Jim is squeezing his hand.

"I'm sorry, Bones," Jim chokes out, eyes desperate, cheeks red and scrunched. "I never meant to hurt you. Please don't leave me."

McCoy wipes at his tears with the back of his other hand and shakes his head. "I have to do this for me. I'm done caring about you."

Jim bites his lip as he chokes back a sob. "Please..."

"I'm sorry," McCoy replies before yanking his hand away and leaving. He holes up in his office to get himself together and stop himself from running back and taking it all back. He knows it's for the best, for his best, but that doesn't alleviate the sudden crushing realization that this is over, done, complete. 

McCoy thought he could love Jim forever, but forever came to an end.


End file.
